Those of you who have known me for any length of time, are familiar with my disappearing acts. *Poof* I’m gone, sometimes for a week or two, sometimes for a lot longer. Most of the time, however, I haven’t really gone anywhere at all, and of course those of you who have known me for a long time realize that I’ve never stopped thinking about you, and that nothing’s changed.
Images of a crazy mad scientist’s lab might have crossed your mind, or some nutty idea that I’d like to run off with. One might imagine me sitting on a mountain somewhere meditating on the sound of one butterfly wing flapping. Which is funny in its own right, because that butterfly would just go in circles. Anyway, I am the type of guy who you can go years without seeing, and while many things in my life may have changed, it’s remarkable that I’m pretty much the same guy you knew all that time ago. Hopefully with a few improvements, and certainly with many of my flaws intact.
So where do I go? Well, sometimes I immerse myself in work, sometimes in recreation. Truth is, sometimes I just need to be alone with my thoughts and interests. A wise man once told me that back in more primitive times, man would leave the village and find a cave to just get away for a while. Modern man doesn’t really have access to caves readily, and might not know what to do with one if he found it.
So, we create caves in our minds. We do or think about things that some folks would find silly. We play video games, develop new hobbies, try to learn new things. Or simply veg out and do nothing, which is a very large cave, sometimes hard to find your way out of. So, what did my cave consist of this time, you ask? Good question, as I’m not completely out of it yet. I’m still winding thoughts around the spindle of my mind and haven’t really drawn any conclusions, which is also pretty typical.
There are a few things however, that many of you don’t know about me and how I think. In retrospect, I don’t believe that I’ve ever written these down until now. Just never really found words to them, or the need, but in the interest of describing what goes on in my cave, I share with you the following snapshots of who I really am…when I’m not with you.
I believe that most people are good, when their stupidity doesn’t get in the way of it. I think there exists a certain set of skills that if you’re not actively working on getting better at…you’re getting worse (example: driving. Most people think they are above average drivers. These people are all wrong). Someone told me once that:
Maturity is understanding that you’ve been an idiot in the past
Wisdom is knowing that you’ll be an idiot in the future
Common sense is realizing that you should at least try not to be an idiot right now.
I believe there is a supreme being, but I also am pretty sure that we’ve all gotten it wrong on just about every count as to how to describe and/or interact with it. I’m hoping there will be some new and relevant information coming out of CERN on the topic.
I believe that children are what’s best in us, if we allow them to learn, and if we are willing to learn from them. I think people should know how to make a fire, use a knife, understand the basics of self defense, know a little about history (at least some of the GIANT fuck-ups, so we try to avoid them today…), change a flat, and find north without a compass. Now, admittedly, that last one won’t do me much good, as I have the sense of direction the equivalent of a room-temperature radish. But at least I’ll be a radish facing north dammit.
I believe in people…in all of you. I am working on a better understanding of what the Japanese call Wabi-Sabi, and how it fits into my life. Part of the concept is understanding that nothing lasts, nothing is finished, and nothing is perfect. That things are beautiful in part, because of these concepts. All of you are unfinished. All imperfect. None of us will last forever. And this makes you all achingly beautiful to me.
I believe that politicians are idiots, and until we can get a whole gaggle of them who can think outside of our own lifetimes, much less outside their own 4-8 year terms, we will continue having the same issues as always.
I also believe it’s impossible to find a good Kendo school in Colorado Springs, but that’s another post.
Holden Just turned two! Yes, for two years, I’ve been a Dad, and in those two years I’ve gotten more grey hair than in the previous 34. Little Bug is getting…uhh…not so little anymore. Still under 30 pounds, even though he eats like a horse sometimes. He’s still very very sweet, insatiably curious, and a startlingly fast learner. And, I am pleased to say, that even though he is in his “terrible twos” (which really aren’t all that terrible), he still likes to crawl up in daddy’s lap and just snuggle for a bit before dashing off to his next adventure. He does not seem to be all that interested in cartoons, or most kid shows, but has developed a strange interest in old Samurai movies. Like 1960’s Akira Kurosawa stuff. I put on the Disney Channel, and he’ll turn to the TV and blurt something out before moving on to play with his “YEGOES” (Legos are amazing. Just hate stepping on the damn things). I put on Yojimbo and he’s glued to it. Strange kid, but I love it!
Anyway, Dear Reader, I thank you for still being here. Excuse me while I shake off the moss that has grown on me while in my cave, and put some things in order. I have been thinking about you, and while what I have to share might not be earth-shattering, I am glad you are still here to bounce things off of. So by means of farewell for now:
“YEGOES!!” *scampers off into the distance*